Friday May 31st

*Be warned that there are some potentially NSFW images in this post.*

So on Friday I went to hospital and ended up being there for 3 bloody hours!!! My appointment was at 10:40 but I wasn't seen until an hour and a half later. I then had to get my blood pressure done, go for bloods, a new prescription of Ciclosporin and produce a urine sample which my bladder didn't want to cooperate with. Because I was there for so long I was unable to have a shower before work, leaving me in a right old state. So as you can see by the images below, it was not pretty.

I suppose I should tell you what happened when I saw my derm. Well he told me he read a bit of the article I gave him on Red Skin Syndrome but didn't find it particularly credible - thanks bud! Luckily my derm nurse seems to find it intriguing enough to look into though, so I shall share these articles and blogs etc. with her. 

I've decided to give Ciclosporin a 3rd chance whilst I withdraw because there is no way I will be able to continue to go to work whilst flaring seeing as I'm finding it difficult enough at present with the state I'm in. I'm completely zapped of energy which isn't helped by the fact that I've had to go to work for 6 days in a row and won't get a break on my days off as they are filled with things that need to be done. Ugh. I need to relax. It takes so much effort to preen myself for a short shift at work and by the time I'm home I'm scratching myself to pieces. Really not nice.

Without further ado - here are the promised pictures. Don't be too freaked out by my near-nakedness.

(L-R) Body; Chest, tummy, arms; Tummy/ above underwear line

(L-R) Tummy; Back of knee; Breast; Arm

A truly grimacing sight. 

My belly is so ridiculously awful. It actually looks like an old woman's tummy due to the loss of elasticity. My poor skin.

I'm also pretty wound up today because some complete moron randomly reversed into my car whilst we were waiting at traffic lights. Luckily there's only minor damage but I'm still hacked off. I didn't have a straight thinking head, and even less so because I was dying for a shower so I didn't get his contact details for if anything does occur later on. I swear people just like to vandalise my car for the hell of it. Must have a retard magnet on it somewhere...

Eczema & Staying With Others

Having severe eczema can be really, really frustrating and tedious when divulging in social events. Strict routine is necessary in ensuring that your condition remains manageable so staying at someone else's place can certainly be a chaotic experience.

I've mentioned before on here that my morning routine literally takes me hours. On a good day I can probably decant my routine into around 2 hours or so, but on a bad day... well it can take me basically half the day!

I always find myself getting super frustrated when staying with other people because although they understand my condition, they don't necessarily understand exactly what it entails for me to get my skin preened to a comfortable state. For example, say we have to be ready to leave at 9am I would need to get up at 6am whilst the rest of the party wouldn't even contemplate getting out of bed until at LEAST 7am. However when there are a lot of you,  then they often spill over into your time and if you're not quick and fast thinking enough you can easily see yourself getting to the back of the queue which then causes more distress and panic because you know you won't be getting ready in time.

This weekend just past saw a similar state of affairs, though fortunately there were 2 bathrooms so no one struggled with time-keeping. I was slightly panicky that I was to spend the night in the living room/ kitchen area on an airbed because I knew people would want to use the space first thing in the morning for breakfast and such. With me needing to moisturise, which in itself is the most time consuming part of my routine, I wasn't sure what I would do as you can't exactly walk around in the nude in a house full of people. We came to the conclusion that I would book out the main bathroom for as long as it took me to get dressed and everyone else would fight over the other shower room.

Staying with friends in student places is the most difficult as you can't hog their bathroom but at the same time you don't really have any where else to go and carry out your routine.

I just find that eczema is such a demanding condition, turning people into selfish beings, because I know that if I didn't follow out my routine to a T I would be uncomfortable for the rest of the day and wouldn't feel like I could enjoy myself because the necessity to pander to my skins needs would be too much to bear.

I hate that it has so much control over my life in this way, but the only way to get it to a manageable state is to preen it to perfection so that it can get better and easier to control. Vicious circle. It also makes me feel so guilty that I do have to be selfish but rather that than getting unbearably ill.