Bit of a rant

Being ill is so tiring. I'm just getting worse and worse :(

Sadly Shane left yesterday to go to his sister's for a race tomorrow towards his 1000km Challenge. I thought I could cope but I really can't.

I tried Sudocrem on my weepy legs after being told that it was good to stop the ooze as it's an astringent which helps to dry up secretions. Unfortunately it seems to have made the ooze worse. Just my sodding luck. However I am slightly worried after examining my legs where the ooze is at its worst... there appear to be bumps or palpules under the skin's surface and I'm terrified that it might be eczema herpeticum. I'm taking Aciclovir so it wouldn't be able to fully fledge itself and I've been so, so excruciatingly itchy that it has made me pause for thought; is it the result of over-scratched skin or the dreaded EH?...

I'll be going to the dermatology department on Monday morning for sure to get some guidance about it. I'll also require a sick note from my GP as I just can't go on like this. I went to work yesterday and only managed to last 2 and a half hours before putting my hands up and admitting my defeat. It's just too damn hard right now. With the constant bathing and showering, moisturising, heat and lack of sleep. I really am at my wits end.

Does anyone else find that when they moisturise so much it then makes the skin flake off into greasy balls which then makes you itchier than ever? It's a tough decision to make; do I dry up like a prune and experience itchy, flaky skin, or do I moisturise the problem and end up with greasy, flaky, itchy skin? The answer seems obvious but I just wish the itch would go away.

Topical Steroid Withdrawal

So I haven't applied any steroid creams since Saturday 18th when I was in a bad way with the hot water not coming on when I was in my state of desperation. Eventually after I'd had my bath I liberally applied Hydrocortisone ointment as if my life depended on it. It hasn't  been an intentional thing as such to cease usage, but there is the niggling in the back of my mind that they are likely to be the source of all evil. 

However, since this time my skin hasn't really improved at all. Like I mentioned in my post prior to the Bake Sale, my skin has been going through all sorts, never following the usual pattern of red, weep then flake. Instead it has been doing all these things either at the same time or in whatever random order it feels like doing it. As you can imagine, this has resulted in me whinging and feeling like crap and the need to nap and generally relax. 

I also think I have a viral infection on my torso. Whether it is from the antibiotics I took, I have no idea but it's getting on my nerves as every part of me seems to have something wrong with the skin. My arms and back are dry and flaking, with deep gouges and scratches from attacking myself in my sleep; my face and ears are a mixture of weeping, red, dry and flaking skin, and in fact felt as though I had been stabbed in the face hundreds of times when I woke up yesterday morning... The backs of my knees are also awful but I'm putting it down to being overheated, and my thighs are also pretty bad right now. 

excuse my flabby tummy. I appear to have put on a bit of podge ;)

Backs of legs

Front of thighs

I'm fed up of the sight of my skin flakes every where and the constant hoovering. It just brings it all back to the old days. I feel bad for Shane that I'm having to depend so heavily on him just so that I can function and get through the day. I can see how much stress I add to his life and I just wish he didn't have to carry out this additional burden, given how much else he has to attain to. 

I'm seeing my derm on Friday so hopefully he decided to do some background reading... I am thinking about possibly giving Ciclosporin another go whilst I go steroid-free, though I am wary of it working for me as it didn't the second time round. We'll see.

Hope everyone else is doing good?x