Still Plodding On

Hey guys, so it's been 2 weeks since my last update and there's just so much to tell you. Firstly, the reason I haven't put up any new photographs of my skin is because there hasn't really been much to show you in the way of change. I'm still dry, still getting red rashes from time to time so the pictures would just be similar to the others and I felt that pointless. I've also had a really hard time taking photos of my face. I just can't do "selfies" any more and if it's not that, then the camera keeps depicting redness that isn't there! Stupid thing. I also still have itch fits from time to time, though these are less and less severe and a very quick shower usually sorts me out.

The second thing I have to say is... *drum roll please*............. we're moving to Leeds! Yes, finally we're moving out of Lincoln and I am so damn proud that we can start to get our lives on track again. We've been stuck here for the last 5 years (6 for Shane) and it's just time to move on. I don't know if this is having an affect on my current red, dry skin because I can't say I'm not stressed. There's so much to do and finances won't be great this month but in a few months time we will be in a much better position. Yay! Also a few of my friends live in or around the area and my mum will be a mere hours journey away <3 I will however miss my Lincoln friends. Now that I'm finally on the mend I can be social but just as this is happening, I'm forging friendships only to leave them behind which sucks!

This past Wednesday I went to see my derm nurse and typically I didn't look my best but oh well! I was a little bit red and blotchy but that's probably the stress of trying to keep my skin nice to show her how well I've been doing. (FYI: I haven't seen her since October 2013!) She said the dermatologist had been given the go ahead to trial a new injection and I was one of the prime candidates. Well ha! I'm moving to Leeds so you can stick your injection (pun intended) I'm not going to be your guinea pig any longer! So that's the end of that. I have an open appointment if I need it, but otherwise I'm basically free.

My legs and back have retreated to their former white glory. The skin is lovely and smooth and doesn't require any moisture at all! Some areas get dry from time to time but I couldn't be happier. My tummy still gets the odd flare but it's nothing to complain about.

You can still see the scarring but when comparing it to how they were they're bloody fantastic! Here's a reminder of how they were.

I can't seem to stop scratching at my arms so they're a bit of a sorry state but I know they'll sort themselves out in their own time.

Similarly I can't seem to leave my neck alone at the moment. Last week it was fine but for some reason this week it's gone back to it's horrible dry self. Ho hum.

The brows are coming back once again but you can see a lot of creases and wrinkles from the dryness of my face.

This side appears to be my better side. Though the brows are still struggling.

And here I am. I'm a little bit red but I'm not too fussed. It doesn't look a bad red like it did initially. For people who didn't know how naturally pale I was they would probably think this was my normal tone... maybe.

Life does get better!

Hope everyone is well :)

Eczema & Dermatillomania

I must start this post first off apologising that my posts are becoming less and less, but it's because I feel as though I don't have much to talk about recently. My blog started off in its infancy as a blog to inform people about my severe eczema and to help them, and other fellow sufferers, relate to the debilitating nature of the condition. As time went on I found out about Red Skin Syndrome and I was getting illnesses pop up far too frequently for my liking and so this here blog took the form of a journal.

Not a great deal has changed since my last entry regarding my skin, it is still rather pale, however the scabs on my legs have dramatically spread and look even worse in their appearance because I just can't leave them alone. This is why I would like to turn to the subject of Dermatillomania.

Dermatillomania is described as an obsessive compulsion of skin picking. It is much the same as Trichotillomania (hair pulling) where the compulsion becomes too much and despite knowing the consequences, such as creating ugly, raw and even scarred, disfigured skin, it just can't be helped. It brings a sense of relief to pick at the skins irregularities and is even a pleasurable experience.

I, myself have been picking at my skin since the beginning of my severe eczema phase (Jan 2009). Prior to this I had strange habits such as cutting individual split ends from my hair for hours and hours. Skin picking is not a habit that can be easily broken, much like scratching the all-consuming eczema itch. Having eczema primarily means that I will always have scabs to pick and dry flaky skin to attack with tweezers, it's just part and parcel of the condition. I know I won't be alone in my skin picking habit, as I know of many others with eczematous skin who do the same.

I wanted to talk about this because I am having a lot of trouble breaking the habit of picking at the scabs on my legs. Skin picking has always been something I've done as a way to relax and is one of my coping mechanisms. I have been known to spend hours and hours just picking and tweezing away at my skin and I even have urges at various points in the day to just go home and pick. When I'm out away from home there's always the thought in the back of my mind about how I will go to town on my skin later on. It's a bit like a dirty little secret because I like the experience of just sitting there picking off all the dead and irregular skin but if people knew what I did, and I have told some of my friends, they would be horrified and disgusted.

I realise how I'm basically destroying my skin and making it even worse because it just isn't being given the time or the means to heal naturally but I just can't help myself. It's like an addiction. It has been compared to self harm because you're fully aware of what you're doing to your body but the compulsion for relief is just too much.

I've decided to publicly create this post because I feel the more people who know about this, the more I may feel embarrassed that I am causing myself harm. I've been taking measures to not use tweezers on my legs, to keep them covered up, and if they do become itchy to allow myself to scratch if I have to just to quell the itch, otherwise it just becomes all too consuming and there's no stopping me. I will literally go to town taking every single scab off, making it bleed and produce proteinaceous fluid so that it can form new scabs. Sadly if scabs are picked off too much it can cause scarring and larger areas to form.

I said in a previous post how one of my life goals was to be able to freely wear shorts next year without tights or leggings. Let's hope I can leave my legs alone to actually fulfill that.

Does anyone else suffer from this annoying little quirk? Please comment and let me know :)