Wow. What a year 2013 was. I thought 2012 was my worst year in history for my health however 2013 managed to trump it by far. I reached an all new low of constant skin infections, finding out about the effects of topical steroid addiction and how the withdrawal process is one of the most shockingly horrendous and disgusting procedures that one can undertake, and that it's all thanks to doctors, who are supposed to make us better yet in fact make us worse.
So much has been sacrificed because of my health; friendships, happiness, the happiness of others, life in general etc. This year I think the only possible route is up, up and away, to leave the past behind me and to open new doors that aren't so exclusively interlinked with my health.
It has now been 5 years since I have truly suffered with "eczema" and I feel as though I've wasted so much time succumbed to my illness that I've lost sight of how life should be. It shouldn't all be doom and gloom as it has been. Sure, I've still managed to achieve a lot in that time and I am thankful that it has actually offered me some great opportunities that it otherwise wouldn't have but it has also prevented me from doing so much too. I think this is the year that I give my health the finger and try to find true happiness, to finally become confident in myself and my abilities and to move forwards.
I have so many regrets of opportunities missed that I can only blame on my health and my own selfish nature, and in turn have lost sight of who I really am and which direction I would like my life to go in. I feel as though I have failed myself in ways and that I should have experienced so much more in life by now.
This year I'm going to stop blaming myself for my shortcomings as I think that is the only way that I can ever truly move forward. I intend to become a much more positive person and help others around me whilst striving to be the best version of me that I can be. I want to grab life by the horns and just live it. I want to get out there and do stuff, see new places and meet new people. I want to take risks and be carefree (or as carefree as I dare to be) and to just find a sense of true happiness.
I want this year to be the best yet, or at the very least, better than last year.
Here's to a new year of challenges and happiness.
I wish you all the very best xxx
Shane finished his
1000km challenge on New Years Eve, running his 53rd race and reaching a total of 1093.48km. It has been tough year for both of us with him running every weekend when I felt I needed him most but it just shows how determined he is to make a change and to raise money for those suffering dearly from eczema. Fortunately the sun bleached out my face but I think you can still tell that I'm much better than I was this time last year. Here's to an even bigger improvement for the end of this year!